I decided to update the website and make the "About" section a little more succinct, so I thought I would repost the old "About Me" here, since it took a long time to write! Haha, enjoy!
The story of The Indigo Tribe is really as much MY story as it is the story of a small business, so I'd like to share how it is I got here.
I started The Indigo Tribe back in October 2015. I had just moved to LA that summer, only knowing one other person in the entire city--who abruptly informed me he was moving to Texas. With only 90 days under my belt in a brand new city, I felt utterly alone. Having lived in Chicago my entire life, I had dozens of friends there that I could call at the drop of a hat. Days were spent in an office, then off to Happy Hours, and weekends were a flurry of birthdays, weddings, street fests, etc. And now, I found myself riding solo, without an office to go into, in the 2nd largest city in the US. Holy. Crap.
I had come to LA after taking an offer from my company to move to SoCal. I rented out the condo I owned in Chicago and was living in Cali 90 days later. I spent a year at an apartment near the beach, working my 9-5 gig as a consultant while also helping a friend edit his Memoir. Taking on a move, new job, new state, AND a book editing project was crazy stressful, but also so invigorating. To be feeling creative again!!
After that year by the beach, I made the big leap to move up to LA where I found a loft in a great spot Downtown. After a few months and LOTS more alone time (sensing a theme?) I found myself meditating more and more. One day, a message came to me. It started as just a simple thought:
"I want to live a Creative Life."
Woah. OK. What did that mean? I wasn't sure just yet, but I decided to write it down on a piece of paper and hang it next to my bed (along with a check for $1,000,000 and a picture of Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa, because a girl can dream damnit!). I woke up everyday with that staring me down, so it was the first thing I saw in the morning, and I repeated it like a mantra, out loud, over and over and over. A few days in, I realized I would have to take matters into my own hands. I decided to tap into my creative side by decorating my new loft, I had always LOVED designing interiors...
I bought a new sewing machine, and started making things for my new apartment. I wanted to bring the feel of the beach apartment to my new space in the heart of downtown, so I experimented with an Indigo dye on everything I could get my hands on. Living in a loft meant I could get things a little messy, and I found the dye process relaxing and therapeutic. As friends began asking me to make things for them, I figured I would set up an Etsy site to make it easier to communicate (and have them pay). But first, I needed a name.
I wanted the word Indigo in the name, because that was the original medium that stirred up my creative juices. Plus, I love that Indigo is the color that corresponds to the 3rd Eye (Ajna) Chakra and represents intuition, perception, and higher consciousness.
Time alone brought ritual and my creative side out, but deep down I was longing for the sense of community I had felt back in my hometown. I missed my friends dearly, and I think some subconscious part of me added the word "Tribe" to the name, hoping to manifest a West Coast circle that I could trust. I created a quick business card on my computer, and added the catch phrase "Give This World Good Energy!". It was exactly what I wanted for my little business.
So, The Indigo Tribe began in this way. As a way of channeling the creative energy that I was missing in my day-to-day life. Relatively quickly, my little business grew. By the following month, I had requests to be a vendor at markets to sell my indigo dyed blankets and pillows. I couldn't believe my little side hustle was going to be seen by PEOPLE. Like, IN PUBLIC!!
I began re-styling my loft on a weekly basis to do photo shoots, and more and more invitations came in to sell my things.
That creative life was manifesting before my eyes, but over the months I had let the spiritual side of myself and my business falter. I had been working and working, but I never stopped to pause long enough to just be still. I had zero balance in my life, I was producing crazy amounts of work, but my life was spinning out of control behind the scenes, the good energy had gone stagnant, and something had to give.
At the end of Aug 2016, I finally, gratefully, broke down. And while a break isn't always pretty, it was so very necessary. I realized I was out of control, I'd been working so much that I hadn't made any REAL connections in my year in LA, and life felt...grey. So, I pressed pause...took a breath, and something amazing happened. I realized I needed to wipe everything clean and start from scratch, refocus my business with balance, integrity, authenticity...the things I actually value. This is a work in progress, but the $1,000,000 check is gone--replaced with a card that says one word: LOVE. I commit (and recommit daily) to do all things with love.
So today, as I type this, I have entered a new era. I left my 9-5 corporate gig behind in June of 2017 and I am stepping out onto the ledge. I have trust that the Universe is here to support me, but mostly I trust that I will show up for myself to create the life I was destined to live. I have created the space to figure out what I'm meant to do, and it's a risk...but I'm taking it.
The Indigo Tribe is a space I've created for anyone who is ready to do the same, to take a leap and follow their gut--even when everyone is telling you that it's (you're) crazy. When you wake up and see that everything is possible, fighting that urge becomes harder than just letting go. So, I hope you'll join me, whether that means you are ready to surrender, already have, or are just reading along for now, preparing for your own moment...I can't wait to see what comes next!!
These past few months have been...A LOT. Basically: my Grandma passed at the end of May, another friend tragically took his life a few weeks ago, my parents came for a visit, and my WHOLE family just gathered to scatter my grandparents ashes in the mountains. All the while, I left my corporate job and have been trying to launch my own business, moved, have traveled to New York, Chicago (twice), and Colorado, and have been setting up my brick and mortar retail spot. This has been the past FOUR months. That's a shit ton of life to cram into 120 days and my brain and spirit feel like they need a break. I need more nature, more quiet time, more meditation, and more space to figure out what I do next. So, I'm going to figure out how to make that happen. More to come...
So, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I left my corporate job of 15 years (!!!) where I earned a very generous salary and lots of "perks" to truly give this creative dream a shot. It's been just under 90 days since I had my last day on June 23, and I would probably describe these last few months as...STRANGE.
I have spent my entire working life in a structured, corporate, 9-5 environment--even my first job in High School was at a popular ice cream chain--with layers upon layers of management and specific goals and targets, rule books to follow, corporate guidelines, etc. I have been taking on freelance projects here and there, but always as a supplement to my "day job". To suddenly switch into full-time "freelancer" mode is an extremely strange feeling. I think these past few months have been an exercise in WHAT exactly this new life looks and feels like. The hardest things for me to reconcile between old life/new life are Structure, When It's OK to Work for Free, Setting My Worth, and Work/Life Balance, so I thought I'd break it down over the next few posts. I'll start with Structure today:
STRUCTURE: Somedays, I have to force myself to shower. There are A LOT of days that it doesn't happen at all. When I used to wake up, it was by alarm, usually around 6:30a, and typically to shower and run out the door, hair still wet and one shoe in my hand headed to a meeting somewhere in the Valley. These days, structured meetings are more rare--the occasional photo shoot with an early start time or meeting with a collaborator pops onto the calendar, but for the most part I am setting the timing and content of my day. WHAT A DREAM! But, also, so different than what I've always known. The parameters of a corporate job, even one as consulting based as my old career, kept me in check in a lot of ways. By Monday I kinda new what the week looked like and could work around it. Now, I think too much restriction would hinder my need for a more creative flow, however I do see the value in having some basic parameters for myself. Less plaster cast, more jello mold. Just something to loosely keep my days, weeks, and projects in check a bit.
I'm still trying to figure out exactly what this looks like, but I think the key is routine with flexibility and forgiveness for myself when things don't quite fit the (jello) mold.
Holiday season is coming, so I will put this into practice and report back in another 90 days!!
Having a spiritual awakening manifests in lots of ways, but the most evident one, for me, is just how much more compelled I am to try and do the "right" thing. To lead a life of more integrity and honesty. In general, I would say I've been a decent human over the past 40 years, but I've definitely had my moments that I'm not proud of. I had no qualms about little white lies, and sometimes big lies too. I have cheated at things, stolen, and am absolutely guilty of partaking in a good round of gossip when it took the focus off of me and onto someone else. Anything that made my life easier in the moment, seemed to be fair game.
I would say the past few years I have started to notice the misaligned parts of myself more and more, and after the "egg cracked" last year (by egg I mean ME) I have definitely looked at these things through a different lens. One of the main aspects to spiritual awakening for me is that you become acutely aware that we are all parts of one whole, and that the things I do are not done in isolation...they create ripples out in the world. It has become as if I have a "Big Brother" camera on me at all times, which in reality is just my own conscious, that made me start to observe my actions from an external perspective. I question motive and intention so much more, and actively try to live my life with more integrity. This isn't to seem "holier than thou", trust me- I have to work on it everyday and some days are better than others...but I definitely notice that I have a strong pull to want to do things BETTER than what I would have in the past.
Real Life Example: Recently, I moved out of my loft downtown and into a new place. When it came time to get the deposit back, I saw the breakdown of amounts and it said the initial deposit was $1100 and I would be getting abut $300 back (after partial rent and cleaning fees, etc). I remembered that I had been part of a special discount when I put the deposit down, and it had only been $600, not the usual $1100.
Now, I just left my high paying 9 to 5 to basically be a freelance artist person. That $300 would be a nice little extra padding for the months ahead, but instead I figured out I OWED them about $200. My stomach turned. UGH. Former Beckee would have justified it a million different ways.
"They are a big corporation, they don't NEED my $200 but I NEED the $300..."
"They OWE me because I never paid rent late and I never went to any of the free happy hour things!"
You know the drill...the ways we justify NOT doing the thing that feels right in our gut. I am so good at the justification game, let me tell you!
But, Beckee 2.0 knew that Big Brother (higher self me) wants to live a life of greater integrity whether it meant $3 or $30,000. So, I emailed the property manager and let him know about the mistake in accounting. I told him I was aware I would probably owe THEM a few hundred dollars, and you know what? It felt GOOD. Like, I didn't compromise the person I want to be over some money. And you know what's even better? His reply:
I do miss a resident like you that will go out of their way to tell us when they think we're giving them too much money BACK.
You paid a cat deposit. =)
Enjoy your money and your life!!!!
And just like that, I realized the reward in just doing the right thing. As small as it seems, nothing has felt that good in a long time, and I am so grateful for the lesson!
i am beckee.
Lover, Writer, Artist, Curser, Creator, Moonchild, LA Dweller, and Star Gazer on a Quest to Find the Beauty and Love in Everything