I am kind of obsessed with trees that have been carved up. I feel a little sad for the tree for being scarred-- but there is also something so romantic about the permanence of the carvings. The names and initials in the hearts are going to forever grow with this tree, long after the people have split up or moved away...I find these trees incredibly inspiring and plan to do some more of my personal writing based on them. Also want to incorporate into a design idea somehow 🤔. Thinking cap going on.
That was an exhaustingly long post, so I've broken it into two...here is the dramatic series finale for your reading pleasure:
That was a year ago--October 8th, 2015 the Etsy site went live--and the 14 months since have been the wildest ride of my life. I have been elated, beaten up, broken down, ecstatic, depressed, exhausted, and just about every other emotion you can think of--sometimes all in one day. I discovered talents I didn't know I had, and been humbled to see how many MORE talented people are out there.
Soon after the etsy site went up, I started a new Instagram page (@theindigotribe) to act as a marketing sidekick. Just today I hit 999 followers, and it still astounds me that ANYONE looks at the pics I put up, let alone decides to follow me afterwards. But, about 1000 of you do, and it makes my little heart burst.
This little side hustle has changed my life completely. It brought me back to the creative bits of my soul that had been chilling in the cut for a long time. It helped me make a few friends, and then a few more...and all of them are creative brilliant boss babes that I admire. It challenged me, my work ethic, the nights I never went to sleep, the weekend hours standing at a booth slinging wares after working at my full time job all week.
I busted ass hardcore for a good solid 8 months with not a single day off. That isn't for dramatic effect...I literally did not take a single day off for over 8 months. I burned the candle at both ends and then lit that bitch up in the middle too. I could tell my friends from home were worried, because in all honesty I really wasn't getting out much. I was a 24/7 working zombie who would sleep an average of 3 hours a night FOR MONTHS. Shit was not good.
My 40th birthday happened in June of 2016 (more on that in another post) and I took 2 weeks off. I mean, shut the store down, vacationed to Palm Springs and Mexico...homegirl was on Do Not Disturb WITHOUT Vibrate for a solid 16 days. Vickie from Small Wonder, shut up in the closet for the night, off the grid style. It was heaven. But, as I always say about myself, 'A Beckee in Motion, Stays in Motion', and after all that vacation I could NOT get my ass BACK in motion. I felt lost and stuck and sad and all of that creative energy slowly began vibrating lower and lower until I was barely making anything at all and had slipped into some sort of strange manic depression.
I am writing this blog, and including the little essays and stories and photos that have nothing to do with the business side of things because I think there are more of you out there that might be able to relate here and there. Maybe you don't have an etsy store, but you're a working mom raising mini humans. Maybe you just went off on your own and gave up your job and you are now shitting bricks. Or maybe you've had some anxiety, depression, or you're single and FORTY and it all can seem overwhelming sometimes when it feels like you are alone. You aren't.
I am not an expert, I am a student in all of this. But I believe some of my stories are interesting and funny and unique, some a bit sad, but even if no one ever reads a word of this--there is healing in revealing. (Shit lemme go trademark that!) The more we all admit to our imperfections and foibles and cracks and scars, the more human we become and that has helped me with my art, my recovery process, in EVERY aspect of my life. I have a long way to go, so I will share that journey here as well. I'm opening the book and revealing my darkness, but by doing so through my writing I can transmute that pain or heartbreak into something beautiful. That's where the magic really happens, I'm learning.
So...here we go, putting it all out there one story at a time, offering some advice for the things I know, asking for it when I don't. Thank you to anyone who made it this far,I know there were lots of rambly bits, but I promise to be more focused going forward (OK, maybe I don't promise that).
With Love and all of my Light
Holy shitballs...it finally happened. The Indigo Tribe has its very own grownass website, a logo, and I am officially writing the first blog post. This has been a VERRRY long time coming, to say I'm nervous/excited/proud/pooping my pants would be an understatement.
To begin, a little stream of consciousness babbling to get y'all up to speed:
I moved to Los Angeles in the Summer of 2015 (originally from Chicago), and knew exactly one other human being in the entire city. One person in a city of, oh...13 million give or take. No big whoop. Even worse? When that friend told me 2 weeks later that he was moving to Texas. *Gulp* Ummm...excuse me? I have no friends in fricking LA. No studio execs have hit me up to be the ingenue in their next film, my wacky girl with gay BFF wingman in the big city fantasy destroyed...Now what the eff?!
So, scared shitless, I threw myself into setting up a home in my new SUPER teeny little loft in Downtown Los Angeles. I was cramming all my big ass furniture into one room the size of some suburbanites bedrooms, and I was bugging out.
I did decide early on that I wanted to create a space that was filled with things that I had made, since I've always had my hands in some sort of creative or artistic pursuit...doing my best not to IKEA-fy my tiny abode wasn't easy but it started to come together and I was into it. LA was hot as eff so I wasn't into doing many outdoor activities, so I "lofted" (like nesting but more urban).
In September of 2015, a ladylove of mine came to stay with me from New York while she attended some meetings with studio bigwigs (call me!). She was the first "outsider" I'd had over to my place and she was super gushy and sweet about all of the things I had created. She even told me she wanted to commission me to make a few things for her employees. Then she said something that changed the trajectory of my life: "You should, like, sell some of this on etsy or something. People pay a shit ton of money for this at the hipster store in Greenpoint!"
I laughed it off at the time, but a baby seed was planted. I had the idea that maybe I could create a little etsy site and have an artsy side hustle while I waited for new friends, a hot boyfriend, and fabulous Saturday night plans to miraculously manifest. I went to etsy, and the first thing they asked was the name of my business.
Hmmm. Shit. Hadn't thought about that. Think fast.
I took about 30 seconds to contemplate (thinking this was kind of silly anyways), then typed in The Indigo Tribe since lots of my work revolved around the magical plant I was using to dye everything I could get my little blue hands on. I finished the setup for the site, and went live with a smile, wondering if anyone would ever even see this little store of mine.
To Be Continued...
i am beckee.
Lover, Writer, Artist, Curser, Creator, Moonchild, LA Dweller, and Star Gazer on a Quest to Find the Beauty and Love in Everything