That was an exhaustingly long post, so I've broken it into two...here is the dramatic series finale for your reading pleasure:
That was a year ago--October 8th, 2015 the Etsy site went live--and the 14 months since have been the wildest ride of my life. I have been elated, beaten up, broken down, ecstatic, depressed, exhausted, and just about every other emotion you can think of--sometimes all in one day. I discovered talents I didn't know I had, and been humbled to see how many MORE talented people are out there.
Soon after the etsy site went up, I started a new Instagram page (@theindigotribe) to act as a marketing sidekick. Just today I hit 999 followers, and it still astounds me that ANYONE looks at the pics I put up, let alone decides to follow me afterwards. But, about 1000 of you do, and it makes my little heart burst.
This little side hustle has changed my life completely. It brought me back to the creative bits of my soul that had been chilling in the cut for a long time. It helped me make a few friends, and then a few more...and all of them are creative brilliant boss babes that I admire. It challenged me, my work ethic, the nights I never went to sleep, the weekend hours standing at a booth slinging wares after working at my full time job all week.
I busted ass hardcore for a good solid 8 months with not a single day off. That isn't for dramatic effect...I literally did not take a single day off for over 8 months. I burned the candle at both ends and then lit that bitch up in the middle too. I could tell my friends from home were worried, because in all honesty I really wasn't getting out much. I was a 24/7 working zombie who would sleep an average of 3 hours a night FOR MONTHS. Shit was not good.
My 40th birthday happened in June of 2016 (more on that in another post) and I took 2 weeks off. I mean, shut the store down, vacationed to Palm Springs and Mexico...homegirl was on Do Not Disturb WITHOUT Vibrate for a solid 16 days. Vickie from Small Wonder, shut up in the closet for the night, off the grid style. It was heaven. But, as I always say about myself, 'A Beckee in Motion, Stays in Motion', and after all that vacation I could NOT get my ass BACK in motion. I felt lost and stuck and sad and all of that creative energy slowly began vibrating lower and lower until I was barely making anything at all and had slipped into some sort of strange manic depression.
I am writing this blog, and including the little essays and stories and photos that have nothing to do with the business side of things because I think there are more of you out there that might be able to relate here and there. Maybe you don't have an etsy store, but you're a working mom raising mini humans. Maybe you just went off on your own and gave up your job and you are now shitting bricks. Or maybe you've had some anxiety, depression, or you're single and FORTY and it all can seem overwhelming sometimes when it feels like you are alone. You aren't.
I am not an expert, I am a student in all of this. But I believe some of my stories are interesting and funny and unique, some a bit sad, but even if no one ever reads a word of this--there is healing in revealing. (Shit lemme go trademark that!) The more we all admit to our imperfections and foibles and cracks and scars, the more human we become and that has helped me with my art, my recovery process, in EVERY aspect of my life. I have a long way to go, so I will share that journey here as well. I'm opening the book and revealing my darkness, but by doing so through my writing I can transmute that pain or heartbreak into something beautiful. That's where the magic really happens, I'm learning.
So...here we go, putting it all out there one story at a time, offering some advice for the things I know, asking for it when I don't. Thank you to anyone who made it this far,I know there were lots of rambly bits, but I promise to be more focused going forward (OK, maybe I don't promise that).
With Love and all of my Light
i am beckee.
Lover, Writer, Artist, Curser, Creator, Moonchild, LA Dweller, and Star Gazer on a Quest to Find the Beauty and Love in Everything