Welp. I have been avoiding this blog like the plague. For the life of me, I could NOT figure out why. I love writing and talking, I have the time...why was I treating this site like a bad ex-boyfriend?!
Had a talk with one of my Spiritual Guides the other night (more on that another time) and it gave me a whole new dose of inspiration to get back to this site, this tribe, the whole vision for this little labor of love. See, I have been through some shit...as we all have, and I've also had a really cool ass life and done some amazing stuff too. I am drawn to the metaphysical, the spiritual, the quinoa and the kale...BUT I'm equally drawn to the Marlboro's and whiskey. Also, *whispers* I don't love yoga (I'm afraid to speak the words too loudly for fear of being driven out of LA).
And if we're really gonna do some confessing...I don't look at Taco Bell with disgust, I look at it and lick my lips. BUT! I also drink plain ass green juices and worked at a Health Food Store for most of my college summers. I make a really good salary, and can't manage to pay my car payment on time. I look at my friends who are MARRIED and wonder how the heck it happened--how do they have a permanent boyfriend??? It astounds me. The last two books I read were The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and Superficial by Andy Cohen.
I feel really fucking all over the place, like there are 2 versions of a person that somehow got smushed together into one by mistake.
As weird and different as I feel most times (and have actually learned to love that about myself), I know there are others out there like me. That sounds very "X-Files", doesn't it? I guess I just feel like I don't fit into the stereotype on Instagram of the dreadlocked yoga girl doing handstands on a beach in a bikini--but I also don't think that's the only path to take. It's beautiful to look at, don't get me wrong, but there is a balance there that feels more authentic to me and I want to figure it out. I am not the person I was 2 years ago, I like to think I'm a better version, but there is still so much to learn and discover and do...and documenting the milestones here feels like a good place to start. If you're reading this, and you feel weird, or different, or sometimes a little crazy...welcome. We are gonna get along just fine. From My Heart--
i am beckee.
Lover, Writer, Artist, Curser, Creator, Moonchild, LA Dweller, and Star Gazer on a Quest to Find the Beauty and Love in Everything